Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Solidarity, Then and Now

In 1979, Pope John Paul II returned to his native Poland and held mass before 250,000 people. He spoke words that challenged the atheist ideology of the Soviet Union and its ruling puppets in Poland. According to this report in CNN, the audience responded in a way that directly linked their faith to freedom:
"Therefore, Christ cannot be kept out of the history of man in any part of the globe, at any longitude or latitude of geography. ... Christ cannot be kept out of this part of the world. To try to do this is an act against man."

"Christ conquers, Christ rules," they sang, hundreds of thousands of triumphant voices. And from among the yellow and white papal flags in the crowd a banner was unfurled that read: "Freedom, independence, protection of human rights."

A year after the Pope's visit, Lech Walesa formed the independent trade union Solidarity, the wedge of opposition to Soviet rule that eventually swept communist governments and the USSR itself into the dustbin of history.

Now, Poles are showing their solidarity again, standing fast and remembering Christians murdered by Islamists, through a campaign called "Martyrs of our Times." In a strong, unapologetic message, they are greatly adding to the growing stream of Western responses to Islamist terror, this time raising a distinctly Christian voice that should be emulated by faiths worldwide.

poland3.jpg
The details come from this Agence France-Presse story (deleted portions contain the obligatory Islamic braying about "provocation"):
A Christian group in the Polish city of Poznan has put up posters in the city’s trams of modern “martyrs” who have died at the hands of Muslims or in Muslim nations, its head said Monday.

“We did this in the spirit of Christian solidarity with those who suffer for their faith,” said Boguslaw Kiernicki, head of the St Benedict Foundation which was created six months ago.

“Christians in Poland are in a comfortable situation, but there are others in other countries who are not,” he said. . . Some 300 posters are on display in Poznan’s trams, showing Christians who have died in Pakistan, Egypt, Turkey and Indonesia, among other countries.The captions on the posters describe their “road to Calvary” and call on Poland’s predominantly Roman Catholic faithful to pray for “these modern martyrs”


The invaluable Gateway Pundit has more details and examples of the posters.

The pro-Israel group Stand With Us has an outstanding collection of posters and flyers, including, in the spirit of the Polish campaign, this one.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

The West Finds Its Voice: Meet Scott Lo Baido, Creative Patriot

The easiest art in the world involves mixing and matching these themes: President Bush is an evil repressive moron. Christians are fascist simpletons. Laugh at Southerners. Race and gender issues rule. Corporations are scum. Israel is the source of evil in the universe. Throw in some naked bodies and you're on the cover of the Village Voice and other alternative publications in a jiffy -- 'cause you're fighting the power, man.

But the truly transgressive art looks askance at this conventional wisdom and feeds it back in a fun-house mirror reflection. The most visible, assertive practitioner of this kind of art is Scott Lo Baido, who had a New York show at the Tribute Gallery not far from Ground Zero in the weeks before the 2004 election. Here's one example of his 9-11 themed work, called "The New York Giants," featuring Rudy Guiliani and New York police and firefighters:

NYGiantsFDNYRudyNYPDlex.jpg

And in recent days Lo Baido, who calls himself "the Creative Patriot," started a bold new project that will take him to all 50 states.

On Feb. 22, Lo Baido started his 22,000-mile "Flags Across America" tour to raise money through sponsorships for the Wounded Warrior Project. Lo Baido explains it like this:
I will drive to every single one of our fifty states in this great land, and paint a huge American flag on the rooftop of a building in each of those states. I would also like to shake the hand and personally thank as many of our brave Veterans as possible.

My Dream is to promote patriotism in the grandest way where so many will see. I want to support our troops and welcome them home with an appreciative view from the sky. I would hope that my efforts might inspire others to be Creative Patriots. But most importantly, I will honor the veterans who gave me this creative opportunity and in return, thank them for the greatest gift to civilization…….. FREEDOM!


The project ends in New York on Sept. 8-11.

Lo Baido combines his artwork with a large dose of Abbie Hoffman-like street theater to get his points across. This article from CNN (!) mentions some of his greatest hits, and shows "Have Faith," his one painting guaranteed to cause apoplexy among certain audiences (hint: it involves President Bush and Osama bin Laden):
LoBaido, 38, was arrested in 1999 after throwing horse manure at the exterior of the Brooklyn Museum of Art to protest its display of a painting of the Virgin Mary festooned with elephant dung.

"I'm expressing myself creatively," he said as police led him away that day.

Last year, LoBaido was arrested for hanging a large American flag on an awning outside the French Consulate as a sign of protest for what he considered France's contempt for the U.S.-led war in Iraq. He is on one-year probation.

You Ain't Nothin' But a Jihad Dog, Killin' All the Time

The West continues to find its voice, now singing through the Velvet Prophet:

With or without fluorescent paint, few things are as quintessentially kitschy as black velvet paintings. But many political leaders in Europe and the United States seem to agree with the Pope and the Islamic community that free speech is what's truly out of style. In response to this officially endorsed cultural intimidation, an international group of brave human rights activists have created the Velvet Muhammad to demonstrate that "free speech is never in poor taste."

The Prophet, who shares a remarkable likeness to the King, can be viewed in all his finery at www.velvetprophet.com - or soon, in the offices of several major Islamic organizations. The Velvet Prophet team is giving original, hand-painted Velvet Prophets to several of the groups inciting rage in Muslim communities. Gift recipients include JamaĆ­a Islamiya, Arab European League, Muslim Council of Britain, Hizb-ut-Tahrir, Islamic Defenders Front, Islamic Circle of North America and the Organization of the Islamic Conference. These organizations, which were appalled by a few cartoons, will see for themselves that the Prophet looks much more dignified on black velvet.


(The Photoshop illustration below does not show the Velvet Prophet Himself (Quaaludes be upon him), but it does depict the loving devotion of a pre-orgasmic Tupelo honey for the King.)

elvishjihad_black.jpg
The Velvet Prophet is also available to mere infidels. Global citizens who support freedom of expression and oppose the spread of culturally oppressive forms of Islam are hanging their very own Velvet Prophets in homes and businesses. If some true believers wish to murder us all for the sin of being human, at least give us the freedom to laugh about it.

All profits from the sale of Velvet Muhammad paintings, shirts and prints go to non-profit organizations that either support free speech or work against the growth of radical Islam.


Velvet Prophet organizers, suitably concerned about security, are keeping their identities secret. Whomever they are, they have bravery, along with great scholarly skills to unearth the eerie secret connections between the King and the Prophet. Consider the amazing "coincidences:"

* Both have a cult-like following.
* Elvis built his career on rock. Muhammad built his career on a rock.
* Millions of pilgrims flock to Graceland. Millions of pilgrims flock to Mecca.
* Elvis served in the military. Muhammad led the military.
* Elvis was born in Tupelo, Mississippi. Muhammad also came from nowhere.
* Both had a real taste for virgins.
* Both live forever in velvet.

Paradise for me would be Velvet Prophet on the wall and Bubba Ho-Tep in the DVD player.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Jews Against Israel:" March of the Self-Flagellators

Emanuelle Ottolenghi has a stellar piece in the Jerusalem Post with the pithily accurate title "Jews Against Israel." Ottolenghi, who teaches Israel Studies at Oxford, discusses the Jews who eagerly line up to trash Israel and all those other Zionazis who don't toe the correct line. He writes:
These self-flagellating Jews crave acceptance and recognition. Their views are moot inside the Jewish world, since they have, by and large, lost the argument against the Jewish mainstream and its commitment to Israel. Having been rejected by their fellow Jews, they put their venom to the service of Israel's enemies as a way of regaining a place in the sun.

Is it any wonder that they can win a debate about Jewish identity only when Israel's enemies define the terms of engagement, and have last say on the outcome?


Read the rest.

Friday, February 24, 2006

The West Begins to Find Its Voice Against the Orcs

In the battle of media imagery, the Islamists are the clear winners -- by default. Their demonstrations bristle with placards threatening bloody mayhem on the West. I take them seriously. By contrast, the West has remained mostly supine, relentlessly self-flagellating and fearful of being branded racists or imperialists for defending the truths we hold to be self-evident.

I've always wondered, when will the people of the West (and those who live by Western values) raise their voices to defend free speech, the rights of the individual, women, real tolerance, free enterprise, and other fruits of the past 250 years? Cartoons spoofing Mohammed, while a brave example of free expression, are not enough.

The West is beginning to find its voice and speak up against the Orcs. Evidence of a forceful, unapologetic Western response is becoming visible. Finally.

The first kudo goes to psychatrist Pat Santy, who blogs under the name Dr. Sanity. Santy created a simple placard, text against a yellow background, responding to an Islamist poster in New York. Another blogger photoshopped her text and came up with this:

placard2sanity.gif
This is important, because visuals count in our media age. Groups like Protest Warrior know this and have created signs that drive leftists completely batty (I know, since I joined PW at the August 29, 2004 counter-protest at the NY anti-war rally and saw the kind of frothing rage PW signs provoke in closed-minded individuals). In the face of an insane opponent, sharply worded and aggressive pro-Western statements are sure to provoke sputtering rage.

More evidence of the West, rising:

1. Writer Christopher Hitchens organized a rally held today in support of Denmark in Washington, D.C., which attracted about 200 protesters. The posters were mild, but they made the point that Americans are supporting the Danes. Here's one group of pictures, and here's another group that gives an inkling of a delightful twist on protest posters: note "Submit to Havarti" and "Kierkegaard Rules," as well as the Lego themes.

The Washington event inspired a one-man demonstration of "sammenhold" (solidarity) at the Danish consulate in Boston, as shown here.

2. Even as a write this, I'm getting emails from Protest Warriors about organizing a pro-Denmark rally in New York this weekend. Although I've only attended one PW event, I've always admired the group's aggressive, in-your-face approach, although I think PW could use some fresh posters.

3. In Australia, federal treasurer Peter Costell had these pithy comments, as quoted on the Cybercast News Service:
Australian Muslims already unhappy with Prime Minister John Howard's criticism about Islamic radicalism are bristling at even tougher comments from the man likely to succeed him, who says any Muslim immigrant who can't accept Australian values should leave.

Anyone wanting to live under Islamic law (shari'a) might feel more comfortable living in countries where it is applied, such as Saudi Arabia or Iran, federal Treasurer Peter Costello said in an address to the Sydney Institute, a think tank.

In a pledge of allegiance, immigrants taking on Australian citizenship declare: "I pledge my loyalty to Australia and its people, whose democratic beliefs I share, whose rights and liberties I respect and whose laws I will uphold and obey."

Costello said that anyone "who does not acknowledge the supremacy of civil law laid down by democratic processes cannot truthfully take the pledge of allegiance. As such they do not meet the pre-condition for citizenship."

Any Muslim planning to immigrate to Australia should first consider its values.


Good on ya, Peter!

4. In a most encouraging development, demonstrations are planned for March 4 in Madrid and March 25 in London. Two Londoners who blog under the name Voltaire are planning a March for Free Expression. Voltaire's site has a clear statement of principle that frames the contrast between the West and its attackers in exactly the right terms:
The strength and survival of free society and the advance of human knowledge depend on the free exchange of ideas. All ideas are capable of giving offence, and some of the most powerful ideas in human history, such as those of Galileo and Darwin, have given profound religious offence in their time. The free exchange of ideas depends on freedom of expression and this includes the right to criticise and mock. We assert and uphold the right of freedom of expression and call on our elected representatives to do the same. We abhor the fact that people throughout the world live under mortal threat simply for expressing ideas and we call on our elected representatives to protect them from attack and not to give comfort to the forces of intolerance that besiege them.


And so begins, slowly, the rise of a Western voice against the madness.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

JDate Opens the Kimono

JDate is the site subscribers love to hate -- creaky technology, lackluster customer service, and weak quality control that lets scammers from Ghana (or someplace) send out email after email. But if you're Jewish and not Orthodox, it's just about the only game in the electronic shtetl.

Still, there's another side to consider: JDate the business. It's part of Spark Networks, a company with a new listing on the American Stock Exchange (trading under the ticker symbol LOV) and public financial results. Spark released its fourth quarter and year-end results on Feb. 16, providing insights into the size and performance of both JDate and Sparks.

Let's take a look as JDate opens the kimono, as they say on Wall Street.

First, how big is JDate? Membership numbers in the press are impressive but vague. A sponsored link on Google by JDate refers to "500,000+ Singles." This article from the Los Angeles Times claims 600,000 members, or "one in 10 Jewish singles."

Those figures don't indicate the number of paying customers -- the kind who can write and respond to emails, the big spenders, if you will. Here's the straight scoop:
Average paying subscribers for the Company's JDate segment were 73,700, during the fourth quarter of 2005, an increase of 8%, compared to 68,500, from the same period in 2004. For the year ended December 31, 2005, average paying subscribers for JDate were 70,500, an increase of 1%, compared to 69,800, for the year ended December 31, 2004.

By that measure, going with the 500,000 base JDate mentions in its Google ad, at any one time only 14 percent of profiles come from paid members. No wonder so many messages go unanswered -- the odds of one paying member writing to another paying member who has the ability, if not the inclination, to respond are low.

Financially, JDate's contribution to the Sparks revenues stacks up like this:
The Company reported fourth quarter 2005 revenue for its JDate segment of $6.8 million, an increase of 10%, compared to $6.2 million, in the same period in 2004. For the year ended December 31, 2005, JDate segment revenue was $26.0 million, an increase of 9%, compared to $23.8 million, in the year ended December 31, 2004.

So the revenue growth moved up with the increase in subscribers, rather than through an increase in subscription rates. The last time JDate raised its rate was in the summer of 2004, from $28.50 to $34.95. An interesting statistic would be the average length of subscription; do people pay for a month and stop, or keep paying month after lovelorn month?

However, JDate is spending more to acquire those subscribers. The release says,
Direct subscriber acquisition cost(4) (SAC) for the Company's JDate segment in the fourth quarter of 2005 was $12.25, an increase of 15%, compared to $10.68, from the same period in 2004. For the year ended December 31, 2005, SAC for the Company's JDate segment totaled $12.70, an increase of 57%, compared to $8.09, for the year ended December 31, 2004. "SAC metrics for JDate are not an apples-to-apples comparison when you consider the marketing mix has shifted from a primarily online, direct marketing effort to one that now includes a wide mix of offline initiatives focused on continuing to strengthen the JDate brand," stated [Sparks president and CEO David] Siminoff. "Because of these efforts, we proudly feel that, within the Jewish community, JDate has become a verb."

Sparks defines SAC as "total direct marketing costs divided by the number of new paying subscribers during the period. This represents the average cost of acquiring a new paying subscriber during the period."

Finally, JDate numbers suggest that the growth years of online dating may be over. Average paying subscribers for the years end Dec. 31 zoomed from 50,700 at year-end 2003 to 69,800 at year-end 2004. However, that number hardly budged over the next 12 months, reaching 70,500 at year-end 2005.

Over the same period, that SAC number discussed above almost tripled, from $4.39 in 2003 to $12.70 in 2005. So JDate is paying more to keep subscriptions at a steady level. Overall Sparks performance for the fourth quarter and the year show flattening performance:
Reported revenue for the fourth quarter of 2005 was $16.6 million, a decrease of 3%, compared to $17.1 million, over the same period in 2004. This decrease is primarily the result of lower AmericanSingles revenue due to a significant cut in marketing expenditures for the website, designed to improve its contribution margin. Revenue for the year ended December 31, 2005 was $65.5 million, an increase of 1%, compared to revenue of $65.1 million, for the year ended December 31, 2004.

Read the full release, because it provides even more numbers on JDate and other Sparks sites, with enough corporate jargon -- "2005 was a turnaround year in which we made significant strides towards right-sizing our cost structure" -- to make you a winner at Buzz Word Bingo.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

"Chinatown" Enchantment

When I saw Roman Polanski's "Chinatown" when it was released in 1974, the music haunted me as much as the story. "I Can't Get Started" and "The Way You Look Tonight" hinted at a world of music and emotion beyond the Top 40 sounds I heard on KRIO and other AM stations. In those pre-VCR, pre-Internet, and almost pre-FM days, I could only depend on fragmented memory to retain the shimmering music. I didn't even know the names of the songs.

I just knew I had to have the soundtrack.

As an adult in New York, I scoured record stores and could not find it, for any price. As great and honored as the movie was, the soundtrack simply did not exist.

As with my need for love, I never stopped searching. Finally, during a backpacking month in Europe in September 1984, I spied a Japanese import version at Virgin Records in London. I bought the album (back in those vinyl days) on September 29 for a king's ransom of 17.99 pounds and VERY carefully brought it back to the U.S. I have it to this day, and it remains a listening delight. For proof of my purchase, see below:



I only regret I didn't scoop up every single copy. I did a Google search for the Chinatown soundtrack and discovered it remains unavailable, although the movie itself is typical video-store fare. On Amazon, prices range from $127 to $250, for what seem to be CDs. How can that be? In this age where every digital blip can be found, why does the Chinatown soundtrack remain so scarce and pricy? It must be the rarest of my hundreds of albums, not counting albums with the vocal stylings of the like of Jerry Lewis, Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner, or a battered version of the Rolling Stones' "Their Satanic Majesties Request" with the groovy 3-D cover.

My favorite rarity, after Chinatown, is a "beautiful music" album from the 1950s featuring a young Mary Tyler Moore in a beauty-contest outfit and high heels gracing the cover of "Million Sellers" by the renowned Lew Raymond and the Hollywood Studio Orchestra. Now doesn't that look like Mary? Those legs! That smile!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

A Handy Guide to Holy Honorifics

As the Cartoon Jihad spins along, I am noticing how newspapers refer to Mohammed. The name itself rarely stands alone. The New York Times likes "the prophet Mohammed," while other papers probably go with "the Prophet Mohammed."

Islamists make a big deal out of their respect for other prophets, like Moses and, um, Issa. I heard one man babbling about that on TV from the protest at the UN yesterday. Having grown up among the God-fearing Southern Baptists of Hidalgo County, Texas, I instantly thought, "Dude, you're all wrong. His name ain't Issa. That's disrespectful to the max. You want to play the prophet-respect game, you'd better get with the right nomenclature."

So the next time an Islamist wants to spout off on his love for the other prophets, he'll make a much better impression if he uses terms that resonate in the West. Let's start with Issa. "Jesus" works OK. "Jesus Christ" carries a little more heft. "Jesus the Christ" has a more antique, Greek-novelist sound, but it still gets the point across.

But to really rise and shine and get your Religion of Respect message across among that key Southern Baptist constituency, Islamists had better wrap their vocal cords around "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." Now that's got a real nice ring to it, right up there with "the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)." From McAllen to Terlingua to Crawford to Amarillo, that phrase will win you friends and influence people. Attending Friday night football games wouldn't hurt your cause in Texas either, but that's a lesson for later.

That's just for beginners. You surely want to make nice with your audience of the Hebraic persuasion, like me. References to "Ibrahim" grate on my big floppy Jewish ears. So try the correct pronunciation: "Avraham" or "Avroham," or, if you're in a cousin-kind of mood, "Avi" will work. Moses -- you'll do best with "Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses Our Teacher)." And if you want to chant something that would show true respect to Moses, add "Am Yisrael Chai" to your play list for the next riot, I mean, peaceful demonstration.

Finally, the concept exists of an American civil religion. I agree with that idea, and have always considered the President the living embodiment and executor of this faith, which runs in a direct line from the Mayflower Compact through the Bill of Rights, Gettysburg, the Sherman Anti-Trust Act, the Dallas Cowboys playing football on Thanksgiving Day, the Air & Space Museum, and on to annual Giving of the Word, otherwise known as the State of the Union address.

In my religion as an American, the President must be treated as a prophetical character, with no excessive criticism. He can be drawn, but only in a flattering manner suitable for framed portraits in the White House. Thus, any publication or group that defames Our Prophet the President, the Living Avatar of American Justice and Liberty, must be firmly rebuked and educated in the proper nomenclature, lest the wrath of Americans exercising their Second Amendment rights rain down upon thee like fiery darts of chastisement.

You respect our prophets and we'll respect yours. Case closed.

I'm not holding my breath.

Scholar Lipstadt Signs on as Judge of Israeli Anti-Semitic Toon Fest

(Note, this is a real story)

Showing she has a sense of humor as well as great courage, professor Deborah Lipstadt of Emory University has volunteered to serve as a judge of the Israeli anti-semitic cartoon festival discussed earlier.

Lipstadt wrote to contest organizer Amitai Sandy, "I have lots of experience dealing with antisemites and deniers. [I was sued by denier David Irving in a Brit. court and won a smashing victory.]"

Lipstadt, the Dorot Professor of Modern Jewish and Holocaust Studies at Emory, wrote on her own blog,
I am exhausted by all the sturm and drang of Butz, Irving, AAUP, and others. [I never thought I would string those two names with the AAUP. For details on AAUP see previous post of February 10th.]I think I need a breather, so I have decided to volunteer to be a judge in the Jewish cartoon contest. There are few people who can judge antisemitism better than I. [Not an accolade I claim proudly.]

So, bravo to Professor Lipstadt and here's hoping she enjoys her break. I can't wait to see what other Jews join her in speaking up for free expression and Jewish humor.

Frank Rich has yet to comment.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

HUMOR: Orthodox Rabbis Demand Cartoon Characters Observe Laws of Family Purity

Asserting that "those imams are on to something," a radical fringe of Orthodox rabbis rampaged through Brooklyn demanding that married female cartoon characters observe "tohorat ha-mishpacha," These Jewish laws of family purity make couples refrain from sex during a woman's period and a week afterward.

"Our religion demands total subservience to its minutiae, and this is the right time and place to speak up for our right to run your life," said a spokesman for Rabbis Obsessed With Women's Bodies (ROWWB). He asked to be identified by his street name, "Rabbi Diddy," or R. Diddy.

"Every time we open the comic pages of Newsday we find rampant immorality and that must stop," said R. Diddy as the group marched through the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood of Park Slope, terrifying liberal shoppers at the Food Co-op. "Ours is a religion of peace and we will be peaceful as long as you totally comply with every aspect of our system."

The rabbis demanded that cartoon strips refrain from showing characters having sex or even touching while the women are niddah, or unclean.

ROWWB's first target is the strip Cathy, in which characters Cathy and Irving consummated their long-time romance last February with a widely hyped marriage.

R. Diddy explained, "His name is Irving, Cathy spends lots of time on the phone talking to her mother, she obsesses about her weight. Bubbele, they're Jewish! We wish them a long life of happy and imaginative shtupping -- including, I might add, in the reverse-cowgirl position -- but they've got to make some major changes. Our rebbitzins are already setting up a calendar for Cathy to show when she needs to hit the mikvah."

Artist Cathy Guisewite, who started the strip in 1976, is reportedly interested in the idea and may even put Cathy in a sheidel (wig) worn by pious married women. Some observers believe husband Irving is growing payeses (sidecurls).

Asked about future targets for rabbinical rage, R. Diddy said "Brenda Starr" is "far too immodest and needs to stop that delicious sparkle in her eyes."

He also expressed concerns about "Rugrats," noting, "Those kids are getting too old to have mixed-sex play. We'll be contacting the artists to demand separate-sex panels."

ROWWB ended its march in front of the Park Slope Food Co-op, chanting, "Hey, hey, ho, ho, immodest toons have got to go." They then distributed copies of the book "A Hedge of Roses" to curious shoppers.

After skimming the book, one bitter Jewish husband exclaimed, "You mean we can have non-stop sex for two weeks every month? Sign me up for that!"

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Oy Gevalt: Israeli Publisher Announces Anti-Semitic Cartoon Contest

(Note: This is a real story, not a spoof)

Who knows from anti-semitism better than the Jews? An Israeli publisher has announced a contest involving anti-semitic cartoons, vowing to show the Iranians how it's really done.

Amitai Sandy, graphic artist and publisher of Dimona Comix, said in a release, “We’ll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published! No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!”

Sandy is promoting the contest with several logos, including this charmer:

Israeli%20toons.gif

The contest has been announced today on the www.boomka.org website, and the initiator accept submissions of cartoons, caricatures and short comic strips from people all over the world. The deadline is Sunday March 5, and the best works will be displayed in an Exhibition in Tel-Aviv, Israel.

Sandy is now in the process of arranging sponsorships of large organizations, and promises lucrative prizes for the winners, including of course the famous Matzo-bread baked with the blood of Christian children.

(Another note: If this story proves to be a hoax, mission2moscow will publish an update.)

PARODY: Iran Announces Holocaust Cartoon Festival; NY Times' Frank Rich to Serve as Judge

The Iranian government has announced the rules for its much-anticipated Holocaust Cartoon Festival, details here.

That's the fact. Here's the fantasy:

In a related development, the New York Times columnist and cutting-edge social critic Frank Rich has enthusiastically signed on as a judge of the festival.

"I'm excited by this tremendous opportunity to stand up for free speech. The Iranians are going to show Americans what the First Amendment is all about," said Rich. "It's about time that somebody paid attention to the terrible decline of quality in Holocaust and anti-semitic artwork. These genres have suffered greatly from the relentless assault on artistic expression by the Bush Administration."

In fact, argued Rich, anti-semitic art has been in an "alarming" freefall "since the classical era of the 1930s and 1940s."

"Some of those artists were astoundingly hip and edgy, and very post-modern in their use of ironic images and juxtapositions," argued Rich. "They remind me a lot of Warhol, Basquiat, early Rauschenberg."

Brushing donut crumbs off his tweed jacket during an interview at his sprawling New York co-op, Rich said German artists perfected the genre "during a time of great social ferment, you know, the New Deal, the WPA, fuel-efficient 'green' Volkswagens, autobahns, those gorgeous black German uniforms, great Broadway musicals, lots of interest in stuff like nationalism and socialism."

"European Jews were isolating themselves in gated communities at the time, turning their back on the rich diversity of life in Europe," added Rich, "and many ignored this wonderful explosion of creativity around them, but Germans did their best to distribute anti-semitic art in these all-Jewish communities. That was the Germans' way of speaking truth to power."

Asked about his expectations of the Holocaust Cartoon Festival, Rich said he hoped to find works that would capture the "shock of self-recognition" found in the best of what he called "avant-shoah" artwork.

"A viewer should see these works and recognize their wry truths about himself, or at least recognize his bubbe and zayde," explained Rich.

He will also write an introduction to an upscale coffee-table book of the collected submissions to the festival. It will be published in English, Farsi, and French editions. The Times will feature the book in its holiday gift-giving guide.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

"The Vagina Monologues:" Secret Tool in the Struggle Against Terror

Only 48 hours remain until Valentine's Day, and the excitement is building. Love is in the air -- actually, that's the smell of burning Valentine's Day cards, courtesy of . . . oh, take a good guess. First they came for the cartoons, then the Valentine's Day cards, and after that? I'm betting that the Islamists will aim to squelch that other emerging Valentine tradition, Eve Ensler's beloved "The Vagina Monologues," which "explores female sexuality and strength through individual women telling their stories." Not just a play, VM has become an entire movement built around this month's V-Day activities.

From an Islamic perspective, VM is an ideal target for repression and a fatwa, because it has so much to dislike.

(Truth in blogging alert: I have not seen the play, so I cannot comment fairly on its content. And as a man, my vagina exists only in my mind.)

First, of course, Ensler is Jewish feminist, so that ultimately puts her on the wrong side of the Islamic bed, no matter how strenuously she opposes the War on Terror and carries the moonbat torch.

Second, female sexuality in and of itself has long been seen as an enormous threat to the underpinnings of Islamic society. Any cultural work that presents female sexuality in a positive light will have the patriarchy frothing.

Third, the play's entire ideology takes direct aim at the sexual dynamics of Muslim countries (among others). The V-Day site says,
V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls. V-Day is a catalyst that promotes creative events to increase awareness, raise money and revitalize the spirit of existing anti-violence organizations. V-Day generates broader attention for the fight to stop violence against women and girls, including rape, battery, incest, female genital mutilation (FGM) and sexual slavery.


When honor killings and execution of rape victims are social norms, then VM has to be profounding disturbing.

To her great credit, Ensler has taken VM to Muslim countries. As a force that gets Muslim women to think and speak out and demand their rights, then VM serves as a wonderfully subversive weapon that attacks the roots of terror. Free the women, and the pillars of oppression shake. One article from 2003 says,
The other V-Day spotlight this year is on Africa, the Middle East and Asia. Ensler recently returned from a visit to Egypt, Jordan, Israel and Palestine, accompanied by V-Day's special representative to the region, Hibaaq Osman. Osman works with women's groups in Afghanistan, Egypt, India, Israel, Jordan, Kenya, Pakistan and Palestine with a particular focus on bride burnings, female genital mutilation, honor killings, sexual assault, rape and other gender-based violence that are pervasive in much of the region.


For example, Ensler has met with Irshad Manji, the "Muslim refusenik" author of "The Trouble with Islam Today: A Muslim’s Call for Reform in Her Faith." Say what you will about Ensler's politics but she walks the walk as well as talks the talk. That's Ensler on the right, below, doing her famous Linda Ronstadt impersonation.

Ensler%20and%20Ershad.jpg

Finally, in light of the Cartoon Jihad, VM is bound to become a battle in the clash of civilizations because it includes verses from the Koran. Oh no! Watch your back, Eve! When the Malaysian government refused to license VM for performance there, discussion groups pointed to verses as a major problem. This comment from 2002 perfectly illustrates the arguments:
I'd like to comment on the Editor's statement that the license for Vagina Monologue was probably refused on the grounds of sexual connotation. I beg to differ. I'd like to think that it is the insensitivity of quoting some Quranic phrases off the Quran by non-Muslims and interpreting it out of context that made them do that. I'm no Saint here but I believe that we should draw a line between what is truly artistic and what is just plain propagandist. I think the same would have been done if one were to put up a play and have people quoting the Bible and deconstructing it as the play flows. Tit for tat. How's that?


(Again, I haven't seen VM, so I don't know what Koranic verses it contains, or the context.)

This is setting up a colossal event: Eve Ensler vs. the Jihad, the Vagina vs. the Sword of Misogynistic Intolerance. Which Eve will step into the ring? Will she be Free Speech Eve, standing up for the western values that make possible a work like VM, an avenging Valkyrie with a vibrator, or will she be Dhimmi Eve, bending over in fear to her brutal Muslim masters and removing offending passages from her play?

I'd like to think that Ensler would come down on the side of liberty, whatever her disgust with the U.S. government. But I could be wrong. She may join CNN, the New York Times, the increasingly odious Bill Clinton, and many others in kowtowing the new line.

And if that happens, it's OK. Submission has its temporary benefits. To paraphrase Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando, they like you, Eve. That's why they're going to kill you last.

The Open Center's Catalog: What, No Imams?

The New York Open Center's winter-spring program catalog delights readers with its array of spiritual courses. The catalog covers a huge range of faith traditions: Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Western Spiritual Traditions, African American Culture, Latin/Caribbean Programs, Native American Traditions, Tibetan Studies, and Shamanism.

The Open Center's courses are taught by priests, rabbis, mystics, an initiated elder of the Dagara people of Burkina Faso, curanderos, and more.

Hmmmm, one major faith tradition seems to be missing. Now, which could that be?

Islam, of course.

For all its strenuous inclusiveness, the Open Center doesn't so much as breathe a mention of Islam, other than a table of contents listing for "Sufism/Islam." That offering is a course called "The Sufi Path of Self-Transformation: The Teachings of Rumi, Hafez and Attar." The course description says nothing about Sufism as the mystical version of Islam.

Frankly, I'm disappointed that the Open Center couldn't find at least one guitar-strumming, sandal-wearing vegan imam who loves Allah and Gaia and all their creatures and hates the Jews only a little bit to teach a course. Of course that would be a course in "Jihad as Inner Struggle," since it can't mean anything else. There's not a single imam like that, even in New York? Detroit? Copenhagen? Maybe in Berkeley.

Maybe they're all otherwise occupied these days.

The Longest Perspective: Crimes of the Ishmaelites

Rabbi Lazer Brody, a/k/a Rabbi Rambo, provides an intriguing religious perspective on the Islamic uprising. Putatively about cartoons, the current violence involves much more and continues a line of conflict extending back thousands of years--the ancient enmity of the Ishmaelites against the Children of Israel. He writes,
In Hashem's world, what a person reaps is what he or she sows. For such a long time, Ishmael has been the purveyor of anti-Jewish hate for hate's sake alone; it was only a matter of time until the bully would get a taste of his own bitter medicine. We all knew that Ishmael has always been a big bully, but we're astonished at how big a cry-baby he is!


Read it all, and the rest of his fascinating site.

Russian on Cartoons: A Big "Da" to Free Expression

Here's good news on the cartoon war front: The Sakharov Museum and Public Center in Moscow is going to exhibit all the Danish cartoons next month.

Plain-speaking museum director Yuri Samodurov said, "We must show the whole world that Russia goes along with Europe, that the freedom of expression is much more important for us than the dogmas of religious fanatics." A few more details here.

Russia has a critical role to play in the crisis, and this shows at least some Russians are ready to fight hard against totalitarian thinking, under which they so greviously suffered.

As they say in Brighton Beach, bolshoye spacibo, Yuri.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Nightmare Scenario: Beslan Goes West

On the frantic morning of Sept. 11, 2001, my panicked thoughts turned to my son, then a student at a Jewish day school. The day erased the predictable order of life; was he in danger? Would another wave of attacks threaten Jewish institutions such as schools?

Nothing happened that day, but the dreadful events at a school in Beslan, Russia, in September 2004 confirmed that terrorists have utterly no qualms about attacking children. Over 330 were killed in the bungled rescue effort, half of them children.

Now, the rhetoric and violence are escalating with the cartoon convulsions. The West has shown remarkable restraint in the face of attacks and violent threats. My fear is that, spurred on by their blood-lust against enemies all around, Islamists will play out another Beslan scenario as the outrage that will snap the West's muted reactions to Beslan, the London bombings, French riots, and other provocations. Against this background, the U.S. response to 9-11 was an anomaly.

Even the Russians -- never dainty in their response to attacks -- avoided revenge, despite great speculation that that would happen. [If I'm wrong on this, please correct me.]

This new wave of Islamist demonstrations and calls for death and beheading are raising the level of violence, both in rhetoric and action, with the burning of embassies and murder of a Catholic priest in Turkey. It strikes me that the Islamists are baiting the bears, daring them to respond. Can it be that they're disappointed with the still-orderly and rational Western approach?

Already, Islamists are using images of children in their response to the cartoon wars, such as a drawing of Anne Frank in bed with Adolph Hitler.

Think of the nightmare scenario that would link cartoon demands with unbearable pressure points. Say terrorists take over a school in Denmark or Holland, or multiple locations.

Then they issue a statement: "Turn over the cartoonists for Islamic justice within 24 hours or we'll kill the children. We're prepared to die ourselves." In fact, the first part of this theoretical statement has already been issued in the last few hours.

Then what? Beslan showed the ability of terrorists to act exactly on these threats. Talk? Attack? What's the level of acceptable casualties? The rhetorical heat is unbearably high, the Islamist steam engine ready to blow up and it could blow in such a direction.

If such a scenario plays out -- even more so than train bombings or embassy burnings -- then an all-out War of the Worlds will draw closer than ever.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Islamic Cartoon Psychotic Break: New Battle in an Old War

The Islamic cartoon frenzy focuses on Europe rather than the U.S. In the past week, European newspapers began to print the 12 cartoons from a Danish paper, each reprinting stoking the rage of the Muslim street. U.S. papers, however, showing the kind of spine that contributes to their collapsing circulation, are acting as one giant quivering jellyfish in not printing the cartoons. According to trade publication Editor & Publisher,

Although most American papers have covered the issue, with many running Page One stories, most contend the cartoons are too offensive to run, and can be properly reported through descriptions.

One exception, E&P says, is the New York Sun.

Not even those raucous "alternative" weeklies like the Village Voice have printed the cartoons. Stories and pictures of Janet Jackson's top falling off at the Super Bowl? President Bush as vampire? Hey, no problem there. But graphic film footage of 9-11? Mohammed cartoons? The U.S. press suddenly acts like the culturally sensitive version of Brave Sir Robin.

I can't say I'm surprised. U.S. institutions have a bleak history of buckling under from pressure from Islamic groups. Even "24" cracked last year. I know about this record, because I joined a protest against one of the most notorious episodes.

In 1988, Salman Rushdie published The Satanic Verses and soon faced a death sentence from Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini. In early 1989, Barnes & Noble and other big booksellers removed Satanic Verses, pleasing Islamic censors and outraging supporters of the First Amendment.

Protests against B&N included a rally organized, if I recall correctly, by the National Writers Union, a group I belonged to during my years as a freelancer. At the time, I worked in an office at 545 5th Avenue in New York, just three blocks south of the site of the protest, at the big B&N store at 48th Street and 5th Avenue. So I was happy to join the hundreds of people who showed up to shout "Shame!" at the store and raise our voices for free speech. Our contribution helped change corporate minds, as this report notes:

several bookstores, including Waldenbooks, B. Dalton Bookseller, and Barnes and Noble, pulled copies of his controversial book, The Satanic Verses, from their shelves. However, other bookstores used the incident to call attention to the ongoing struggle against censorship by promoting the book, and the [American Booksellers Association] took out ads protesting Iran's attempt at intimidation. The chain stores reversed their policies within a few days, in part because of a consumer demand for the book. Two bookstores in the United States were firebombed apparently because of the book, but there were no injuries.

While the book remains available and Rushie is still alive, the fall-out of the episode shows the deadly serious nature of Islamic protesters. In 1991, three translators of The Satanic Verses were attacked; one, Hitoshi Igarishi, was stabbed to death.

I would never discount the threat of Islamic violence. However, collective action in Europe now clearly shows the fault lines -- who supports freedom, who demands silence and subservience. Those lines exist just as much in the U.S., perhaps not so brightly as in Denmark, Holland, and elsewhere, but they are emerging. The cartoon wars are drawing those lines, like it or not. This quote sums up the situation well:

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." -- Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania (1759)

What Does the Torah Tell Us About the Super Bowl? Plenty.

Rabbi Joshua Hammerman of Temple Beth El in Stamford, Conn. has produced a detailed Torah analysis of the Super Bowl and its contestants. Based on the names of the teams -- Seahawks and Steelers -- he deduced the winner and even the point spread.
It’s not easy for me to make a prediction in this, a rare non-Patriot year. But since I’ve almost always been right (my personal favorite being Pats-Rams in 2002), I must meet the challenge. So who will it be: Steelers or Seahawks? The fact that I am typing this on a Microsoft program (and the Seattle owner has those ties) shouldn’t influence me, since my computer also has a steel frame.


Scroll down to the "Annual Super Bowl Prediction" headline, midway through Rabbi Hammerman's Shabbat-o-gram.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Sprint's "Sticking It to the Man" Ad: Revolutionary Marketing

The best ad on TV for several months comes from Sprint, promoting its Fair & Flexible Plan for cell phones. You know the one: an executive talks about the plan and smugly says it's his way of "sticking it to the man." The wide-eyed lackey says, "But, sir, you ARE the man."

"I know."

"So you're sticking it to yourself."

Pause. "Maybe."

The leap of 1960s jargon into the corporate world, a living embodiment of "the Man," and the perfect timing of the exchange all make this a wonderful, memorable spot. I never tire of seeing it, and I think Sprint realizes it has a hit because the ad keeps running. I hope Sprint has the sense to expand the theme and unveil some surprises at the Super Bowl this Sunday.

Sprint may be on to more here than it thinks. The more I see of the ad, the more I realize its truly revolutionary nature. It took a while for the subtext to emerge, but now it all makes sense:

This ad is the "Brokeback Mountain" of cellphone marketing. Without doubt, Sprint has crafted most joyfully homoerotic marketing pitch now on broadcast TV.

Here's why:

First, the plan itself. "Fair and flexible" sure sounds to me like "consensual and acrobatic," letting viewers know we're in the presence of two people who dig each other and are master woodsmen. I wouldn't be surprised if "fair and flexible" is already cropping up in the "Casual Encounters" section of Craig's List, abbreviated as FnF.

Second, the whole notion of "sticking it to the Man" has quite overt sexual connotations, mostly gay but also straight. Back in the 1960s it might have have had somewhat, um, hostile overtones, but with a little mental readjustment it simply speaks of spirited rutting.

Third, the characters in ad. Obviously this is a master-tutor situation. There's the wise older man talking with his eager, muscular "assistant" (the suit hides the buffed physique, but trust me, the young guy has washboard abs).

Fourth, consider that the older man is sitting down. What corporate executive ever sits down? They're always going to meetings, making speeches, riding up and down elevators. They never have time to sit down at their desk unless . . . unless . . . well, does the 1998-esque phrase "presidential kneepads" ring any bells? He must have a second assistant!

Fifth, the closing dialogue practically screams that these are men who are comfortable with their sexuality. The assistant says, "So, you're sticking it to yourself."

And the executive says, "Maybe."

Of course, he's modest, but a man who can talk to other men about "sticking it to yourself" ought to be doing a talk show with Phil Donohue, he's so sensitive and in touch with himself. He knows how to do what a man knows how to do.

I can't wait for the Super Bowl, to see if Sprint takes this campaign to the next, logical level. Even without a follow-up, however, Sprint deserves a lot of credit for this ringing affirmation of gay pride in mainstream marketing.

Now if Sprint would just do a version with Cybill Shepherd and Scarlett Johansson.

Who Was Kate? Who Was Mary Kathryn?

The letter from 1968 I found the note in a stack of family letters. Dated July 15, 1968, the handwritten letter came from my father Mark’s...