The letter from 1968
I found the note in a stack of family letters. Dated July
15, 1968, the handwritten letter came from my father Mark’s wife Kate, whom he
married after he and my mother Shirley divorced in 1961. In elegant writing on stationery with
an embossed “W,” Kate wrote to my mother, brother and me:
I hope you are all well and having
a good summer. Mark and I are very very proud of your excellent grades Van and
Cooper. Shirley we comment over how in each set of pictures they change. Van is
certainly growing up fast and Cooper also. We would love to see them. Mark is
very busy and both of us delighted to be in NY. With kindest regards and love
to Van and Cooper, Kate.
Dad finally visited us for a weekend in Mission, Texas in
1970, our first time to see him in eight years, and he told us about Kate. Cooper
and I first met Kate when we visited them in New York for a week in 1972.
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| Kate, summer 1975, New York |
Now, gazing at this brief letter from 56 years ago, I asked myself: Who was Kate?
I remember Kate from visits in the 1970s and early 1980s. She
was slender, elegant, a great cook and always polite with what I describe as a Irish-tinged New York accent. She always existed in the shadow of my
father. He combined public charm with private bullying when my brother and I bridled at his unhinged criticism of our Texas
upbringing (especially our mother) and balked at his grandiose plans to mold us into refined East Coast preppies.
Dad shared details of Kate’s wide-ranging life: from a family of pioneers of Texas’ Rio Grande Valley, ballerina with the Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo, former nun, proprietress of a ballet school in McAllen, Texas. With all the tension with my father, I couldn’t see Kate as an individual—that motivated this essay, to attempt to imagine her apart from Mark Wallach. She had no formal role in my life, not as my stepmother, aunt or anything other than the woman married to my father. She must have walked an emotional knife's edge between empathy for two small-town teens and her relationship with her devoted husband. What was her life outside of her marriage?
The one time
she commented on my father’s bizarre plans for me came in 1975. Dad had
arranged for me to lose my virginity to the “physical therapist” of a friend of
his. While sorely tempted for my very own “Maggie May” moment, I refused to
grant him any say in this part of my life.
Kate offered she had met the woman and thought she was “very
nice.” That did not change my mind.
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| The McAllen dance school, photo courtesy of Mariessa Anton |
Married in McAllen, my father and Kate moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan in 1962, then Manhattan in 1967. In 1977 they left their apartment at 220 E. 63rd Street in Manhattan for an apartment at 101 Gedney Street in Nyack, New York. They attended my Princeton graduation in 1980, meeting my brother and me in one part of the campus while my mother and other relatives, who drove up from Texas, waited elsewhere. My mother was adamant that she did not want to see them. I last saw Kate in 1986 when I met her and my father for dinner in Astoria, Queens, where I then lived. Photos from that meeting show Kate suffering from Alzheimer’s. She died in 1988. They had been married for 26 years. My father remarried in 1995 and lived in the Gedney Street apartment until his death in 2018.
Finding the 1968 note, which my late mother saved in papers that
I eventually inherited, stirred my interest in Kate. Internet searches went
nowhere when I looked for “Mary Katherine Dougherty.” I knew she had operated a
ballet studio in McAllen until she and my father left in 1962. Finding nothing about her, I
posted a request on a Facebook page on McAllen history for any information
people could share. I had no idea what to expect.
To my surprise, I immediately had many gracious responses
from women who had been Kate’s dance students from the 1940s to the 1960s at her
McAllen studio at 409 N. 12th Street. No wonder the digital trail
went nowhere—I had been misspelling her middle name. They all loved her as a
teacher, role model and friend. To them, she was always Mary Kathryn.
The Brownsville girl who became Mary Kathryn Dolina
Equipped with the accurate name, I found many more details. Kate’s picture came into sharper focus, thanks to digitized newspaper stories from 1909 to the 1960s. I found many through the invaluable Portal to Texas History, a project of the University of North Texas. Some findings:
- The marriage license for her parents, William J. Dougherty and Lillian Dougherty (yes, that was her mother's maiden name) was reported in the Brownsville (TX) Herald on July 19, 1909.
- Ancestry.com showed she was born in 1912 and died in 1988. Her father, William John Dougherty, was born in New York City on December 13, 1878 and died in Brownsville on January 26, 1942. Her mother Lillian Sheridan Dougherty was born in 1882 in Brownsville and died in 1952. Kate was their only child.
- eBay has signed ballet publicity photos of her from the early 1930s, taken by New York society photographer Achille Volpe.
The research explored topics that place her in the context of the Rio Grande Valley’s history. The August 4, 1909 wedding article in the Herald had the headline, “Prominent Couple Married.” It gave invaluable details that connected Kate to the turbulent real estate market in the Rio Grande Valley. The story said,
The union of this couple is of general interest in this section. The bride is the daughter of one of the oldest families in Brownsville, her father, the late James Dougherty, having been for years the editor and publisher of the former Brownsville Cosmopolitan, which was afterwards bought by the Herald. For several years Miss Dougherty has taught school at Hidalgo, and it was there that she became acquainted with the man whom she is destined to wed. She is the sister-in-law of John Closner, of Chapin, one of the most prominent men of the Lower Rio Grande Valley.
Dr. Dougherty is the son of Wm. A. C. Dougherty of New York. He attended Manhattan College, Columbia School of Mines, and New York University, taking his medical degree from the former institution. After his graduation, he became instructor in nervous and mental diseases at the New York post graduate college, going from there to the Bicetro in Paris, where he took two years of special work in nervous diseases under Prof. Pierre Marie, the pupil and successor of Charcot. Returning to this country, he began practice in New York, becoming connected with various institutions, among them the Hospital for Incurables [now St. Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx] and St. Vincent’s, being chief of clinic for nervous and mental diseases at the latter . . . In the latter part of 1906 he came to the Lower Rio Grande Valley to look after some land interests owned by him here, and has remained here since, devoting himself to the development of his land near Hidalgo. During spare moment in Hidalgo Dr. Dougherty has read law, as a result of which he was admitted to the bar at Galveston last October.
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| Brownsville Herald Oct. 14, 1934 |
Although under 20 [actually, she was 22 based on a 1912 birth], Miss Dougherty has had a remarkable career as an amateur, dancing at many charity and society events. She made her first marked success at 14, when she danced during a notable affair at Madison Square Garden.
Since the start of her
professional career she was a member of the Monte Carlo Ballet Russe and
rejected an offer to tour with the company this summer in Spain. Recently she
appeared for two weeks with the Fokine Ballet at the Lewisohn Stadium in New
York City.
Miss Dougherty was given the name
Dolina with her admission and will be known professionally as Mary Kathryn
Dolina. Only five new members were admitted after rigid tests and Miss
Dougherty was the only American accepted. Her unfamiliarity with the Russian
language, Miss Dougherty finds, has been offset to marked degree by her
splendid command of French. She also has a fair knowledge of Spanish as result
of childhood associations.
On June 16, 1935, the Herald reported that Kate was
performing in a satirical review in titled “Parade.”
Produced by The Theater Guild, it opened in Boston and then moved to New York’s
Guild Theatre. The Playbill brochure for Parade lists “Katherine Dougherty” as
one of the “Chorus Girls” and “Parade Girls.”
The next story I found in the Herald, Dec. 27,
1942, was her wedding. Her father had died earlier in the year. The article
describes her as the “daughter of Mrs. William J. Dougherty, and the late
Dr. Dougherty.” She married Albert William Reed, son of Mr. and Mrs.
Albert William Reed.” I couldn't find more information about the groom nor any reference to Kate as "Mrs. Reed."
The Mary Kathryn Dougherty Studio of the Dance
What happened with the marriage? When was she a nun? Nothing turned up. The Mercedes (TX) Enterprise of April 26, 1951 ran a story with the headline “Edinburg Orchestra to Present Dances, Violist Tonight.” The text says, “Miss Mary Kathryn Dougherty of McAllen will present a number of her pupils in a program of dancing, and Michael Wilkomirski of Edinburg will present a violin program. Miss Dougherty, formerly of New York, was a member of the Ballet Rouse de Monte Carlo there, and is recognized as a performer and teacher."
The last article I found is from May 10, 1962 in the
Mercedes Enterprise, headlined “Benefit Dance Friday Night to Aid Crippled.” It
read in part:
The Mary Kathryn Dougherty Studio of the Dance will present an evening entertainment at the McAllen Civic Center Auditorium . . . for the benefit of the Hidalgo County Society for Crippled Children and Adults, Inc. Miss Dougherty for the past seventeen years has maintained her studio in McAllen.
Besides the Ballet Rouse experience, the article said she had been a "Guest Artist" at the Rainbow Room in Rockefeller Center in New York. I especially noticed the fact that she had operated her McAllen studio for 17 years—that means it opened in 1945.
From Facebook comments of students from 60 or more years ago, I learned Kate brought a classical rigor and wonderful teaching ability to her dance instruction. She inspired devotion from her students. More than articles, their vivid memories brought the woman they knew as Mary Kathryn to vivid life. Students were heartbroken when Kate closed the studio and moved away in 1962, never, as far as I know, returning to McAllen, where she had such deep roots. One student shared a May 18, 1959 program guide from a performance with me, where Kate outlined her approach:
In presenting myself to instruct my
students, it is my aim to stress the educational value of the dance as a means
of artistic expression, poise and self-discipline, attributes so essential if
we are to have a well balanced personality. Mere gyrations, that unfortunately
are frequently referred to as “dancing”, make impossible the attainment of this
desirable goal.
Wyleen Wilson King Aalberg recalled:
I was a student of Mary Katherine and loved her!
As a young girl, I never knew what happened to her. I remember being so excited about dancing starting back up after the summer, and then it didn’t. I was crushed.
The studio was in her home. I remember the wooden dance floor, mirrors on three of the four walls, the pianist, handmade recital costumes that were so beautiful, and recitals at the Woman’s Club and later at the Civic Center.
I remember Mary Katherine tracing our feet on a piece of paper to order our dance shoes.
I remember getting my first toe shoes and Mary Katherine teaching us how to tie the pink ribbons on them.
I remember thinking how Mary Katherine reminded me of the ballerina in my jewelry box, she seemed so delicate and graceful.
One memory especially surprised me, to put it mildly. Harriet Kirsh Pozen wrote,
Mary Katherine was my ballet
teacher, and Mark [my father] was my Jewish religious school teacher at Temple Emanuel in
McAllen. I still have a book about hieroglyphics that he gave me because I was
so engaged with him as my teacher, I still have the book.
She nurtured my love of dance and
in many ways feel like I am still a ballerina because of your mother. My
posture and the way I carry myself, the way I hold my fingers even in yoga is
the way she taught me. It’s beautifully engrained in me.
My mother also loved her and we
would visit her from time to time. Mom would say even if you don’t learn to
dance you will learn to be a “lady” from her.
I loved our performances and
especially the stunning costumes.
This Hebrew School reference was news to me, because I never knew my father taught
at McAllen's Temple Emanuel, where my parents were married in 1955. He always treated
Judaism as a club to pummel my brother and me with about our shortcomings. Had
he stayed connected to us and shared Jewish learning in a positive way while we
were growing up, as something meaningful to him, our relationship with him might
have been better.
Reflecting on Kate’s life journey, from Brownsville to Yonkers to New York to European ballet to McAllen and back to New York, I learned about her life force and devotion to dance as a calling. With her education and expressiveness, she could have written a compelling memoir covering everything from Texas land holdings to world-famous ballet companies to serving as a beloved role model for young dancers. Had I known her under other less strained circumstances, we would have had a lot to discuss. She had the kind of intriguing life I wrote about as a journalist.
Still, the research brought more questions to mind:
- What happened with the Dougherty family's extensive land holdings in the Valley?
- What led Kate to leave her dance and ballet career in New York, which seemed to be thriving, for Brownsville?
- How long was she married to Albert William Reed, and how did the marriage end?
- When was Kate a nun?
- Why did Kate close her dance studio in McAllen in 1962 and move with my father to Michigan? She was 50 at the time and, based on comments from students, very popular. She could have taught for years more.
- Why didn't Kate and my father ever return to the Valley after leaving? Kate had family and social connections there, and my father had two very young sons. My father came back for one weekend in September 1970. What did Kate think about her husband visiting his sons one weekend in 10 years? Were they indifferent to us, or did some other factors come into play? I can't believe that my parents' frosty relationship alone explained for the permanent absence.
Perhaps writing about her life will lead to some answers. The woman I knew as Kate, always enmeshed in volatile family dynamics, now stands on her own as Mary Kathryn.
But I'll never know either one of them.
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| The ballerina, New York, early 1930s, photo courtesy of Mariessa Anton |
